Excuses Anonymous: "Just because.."

Leaving work on friday i cross the road using the massive zebra crossing along from Circus and nearly get flattened by a blonde woman in her convertible Audi.. that would have been a great start to the weekend that would.

Anyway, having given the Aspers Friday Freezeout a wide berth for numerous weeks now (maybe even months) i decided it was time to give it a shot. When i first started playing a couple of years back, this was the only game i played, and having final tabled the 1st two times i played i find myself scratching my head as to why i haven't final tabled since.

I decided ABC was the strategy to use, knowing there was alot of part-time players and novices who you simply can't make moves against. If only ABC was actually as easy as 1 2 3, the Jacksons are clearly just a bunch of lying Soul-Glo reps.

Despite driving like GazWalker, I make it to Circus for 9:15pm just in time to miss my bonus chips. I join my table in seat 9, sat next to none other than Ireland's answer to 'If Mike Tyson was in an Indie Band' Carlin flinging the cards. I see some familiar faces, most of whom i don't really know (with the exception of Looseman, more on that shortly). I sit down to the words "oh, the shark's in", whoever said it, meant me (ahem). I manage to bluff my way to a decent stack come the break and decide to add-on.

Having ordered a cheeseburger for the break i head upstairs and whilst chatting to GazWalker i hear "..Burger?" bellowed across the restaurant floor. Having not really been listening i claim it. 5 minutes pass and i hear "Cheeseburger?" shouted again, and again.. and finally a 3rd time, which noone claims. Not really putting 2 and 2 together i say to Gaz "Get in, there's bacon on here like", Gaz quickly points out that that was probably my cheeseburger getting pimped out to the rest of the customers, and i am infact eating someone else dinner. Having taken a couple of bites by this point, i decided the real owner probably didn't want it, so i polished it off.

After the break i find myself card dead for the next session but manage to survive with a healthy stack and head to the final table along with Looseman. Having already written a gold star review of the evening, a review i'm unlikely to better, ill send you in his direction to find out what happened, click HERE for the Looseman's thoughts.

Sitting on 190k 5-handed (with 540k in play) i manage to double up a short stack like an absolute pro to make us all relatively even, and a 5-way chop was suggested at 5:30am, which I quickly agreed too as the sun was fast coming up.. and Dracula needed his sleep.

* * * * * * * * * *

Sunday evening rolls around too quickly once again, and it's off to Circus (yes, again!). My first table started off well, mostly because Varzee was the only player sat down at the time, but as it filled up, so did my eyes.. i felt like crying.

Having never really played with this person (i'll refer to her as 'Mrs X'), i didn't really know if she was to live up to the hype, she has been quoted as being the person to send Spoona on perma-life-tilt by the man himself, so i was prepared for the worst.

It didn't take long to realise the truth behind the myth.

I find myself starting pretty slowly, not winning a pot for the first hour and down to 3k, not good. With Joe Peel sat to my left i decide to raise, despite him reach for chips as i did so. He promptly put them back down and folds, but i get one call from the big blind. The flop comes queen high and is checked to me, i fire and the caller folds.. noticing Joe Peel looking at me i decide to muck my 78 suited face up to which he quickly rants "you shouldn't have shown them, i passed a nice hand for you there.. i've got it in for you now son". Now i realise alot of players go on tilt, i try my best not to.. but Joe must be one of only a few players who can go on tilt without actually being involved in the fcking hand, although admittedly i do think it's mostly an act.

Now back to Jean - ah shite i mean 'Mrs X'. Having already limped 95% of hands played (she went for a smoke at one point i think), needless to say she's already in the hand when Joe ships it for 2,500 on his big blind. Already in for 100, she clearly has to call with QJ and sends Peel home for an early bath. Her reasoning for such a call was "well it was preflop".. the thought bubble above my head would have read 'Ai?... AND?'. She goes on to make calls preflop with 7 3 off, J 7 off, etc etc all of which were justified with blabbering nonsense once the hand was over. However, the best was yet to come.

I'm in the small blind with K4 off and see a flop 5 ways.. Now, having been killed on the FT against Loosey with J4, i decide not to go too mental with a flopped set (KKJ). I bet out about 2 thirds of the pot, Chris (Packard) calls, and Jean calls (as expected). Either that or i checked to Chris, who bet out.. i can't remember. The turn brings a queen and knowing i have 2 others behind, i check.. as does everyone else. The river brings a 10, putting KKQJ10 on the table.

It turns out Jean has called the flop bet (on a KKJ board) with 9 2 off and hit a straight on the river, we're both left shaking our heads, and im just pleased i didn't go to town with my trip kings, because Jean simply does not pass.. ever! She of course once again had an excuse to back it up though: "Well i just thought, well.. just because".. what a fcking chestnut that is. Oh right ai, just because eh? why the fck not.. what a psycho. At this point i was beginning to wish i had actually been knocked over by that dosey woman on friday. The odd time she did manage to pass preflop i nearly fell off the chair...

So, i tread water for an hour or so, and with 20 BB i stupidly limp, re-shove with AJ suited against the Varz, who later went on to scoop with a 4-way chop, so well played Lee. In all honesty he was playing on another level to all of us and was deserved of the win, nice way to start your 2 weeks off eh Lee?

I think i've probably bored you to tears now, so i'm back to my tuna melt folks. GL on the felt, you'll need it if Jean's aboot