Digital: Hijacked!

Needing a break from all things Poker, a night in was required on Tuesday. It seems without Poker i'm at a loose end these days, arriving home from work on a nice sunny evening i find myself trying to think of something to do (other than watching High Stakes or PAD obviously).

Food was first on my agenda, so whilst i contemplated my options, i whacked on the TV and watched a bit of Dave. I eventually decided Cheng's was the way forward, and proceeded to order myself Fillet Steak in Cantonese Sauce. When asked when i wanted it, my immediate thought was 'umm, now!' but decided "ASAP" would be more polite. She asks "Ten too eight ok?".. a little confused i glance up at the clock to see it's already after 7:45 and i obviously agree, lucky i only live round the bloody corner. McDonald's claim to be a fast food restaurant, but they're not a patch on Cheng's.

Anyway, ill get to the point. I arrive back home with my food, having blasted there and back in a style Jenson Button would be proud of, to find the house in absolute silence. Now, having left the TV on when i went out, i obviously found this a little odd. Wandering into the living room the TV has a blue screen reading 'No signal is being received'.. Poker is fast becoming a good idea at this rate (it doesn't take much), and if it wasn't for my food, i'd be straight out.

So before i can eat, i have to become a Sky Engineer for 10 minutes, great news.. checking the sky box, unplugging every cable, reconnecting making sure they're all secure, checking the back of the tv making sure the cables aren't hanging out, nothing out of place.. no good, still knackered. FML.

About to give up, knowing my food is getting all cold and un-eaten, i suddenly think 'no signal? ill check the dish'.

Running upstairs, tripping up the top step like the epitome of cool i am, i look out the back window to see a sight i wish i'd taken a photo of.

If you're familiar with Sky dishes, you'll know that they have two main parts. The first, the LNB receiver that sits infront, collecting the signal that bounces of the second, the satellite dish. Sat inbetween these two key elements, was the fattest pigeon i've ever laid eyes on (my dad would later go on to correct me and say it was a 'Wood Hen', Koyte will no doubt confirm this). So i've been on the floor, knee deep in cables, all while this fat little bastard was sat there having Top Gear beamed into it's fcking heed!

Thinking a tap on the window would do the trick, i was left somewhat frustrated when it simply looked in my direction with a look on it's face that seemed to say "ai?.. what?".

Having hit the window much harder than i ever thought it could withstand it still just sat there like it owned the place, and with no window to open what could i do? Out-witted by a pigeon. If it's not the seagulls shitting all over my car, it's the pigeons nicking my Sky Digital.. what next?

I watched a DVD.. at least my chinese was nice.